Vamp Faye (oceanrayne) wrote in our_sv,
Vamp Faye

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why do i try... *shrugs*

I go out of my way to try and say hi to everyone who comes and goes from SV. The regulars anyway, if I am on. Lately, I haven't been on as much as I have been parked as the weather has been a bit brutal with me and I have been sleeping a lot. I am on at weird times of the day or night, as life allows, and have a lot of stress going on in my RW. I can't always be happy, smiley, fluffy puffy, but I am me. I am honest, and I don't pull any punches. I try to like everyone for who they are. I hope people like me and respect me for who I am as well. It's the juvenile ignoring that pisses me off. The juvenile games are just that... juvenile and I am an adult.
There is one person in SV in particular who hasn't said anything to me in quite a while. If that person has, it's a short answer. This same person refused to share cams the night we were *all* online and camming. We used to talk a lot, but in the past few months we don't talk at all.
Is it too much to ask why? What did I do? If I offended this person in some way I think that this person should at least have said something to me about it and allowed me to apologize.
This person is known for dishing out a lot of smack. I will always dish back if someone dishes my way....
If it's over that.. then don't dish if you can't take what you dole out.

I am to the point of saying screw it. Why do I bother? I thought we, the SV'er's were a family or at least a close group. I didn't think that anyone disliked anyone.
All I ask is for the same respect that I give out. I respect EACH AND EVERY ONE OF YOU 100%.
Sari, Joy, Phri, Molly, Isle, Fallyn, ROB, Acey, Abs, B, Raenbo & Bo, Andy, Sid, WIR, Friday, and anyone else I might have missed. I RESPECT YOU ALL, BELIEVE IT OR NOT.. but I do.

Yes I have issues... These issues are things I am working on trying to fix. One of them is being responsible for my actions and if I do something that upsets someone else I wish they would let me know and give me a chance to redeem myself. If my actions have hurt someone else, how am I to know unless someone tells me. The best I can do is to do the right thing and act like a decent human being *EVERY* day of my life. If that isn't good enough for you, then I don't know what is?

This person knows who they are. They have really hurt my feelings, but that is irrelevant. The issues is that I am thinking of not spending all my time in SV anymore and parking elsewhere because of it. It makes me that uncomfortable sometimes, especially 7 or more of us are talking and this person is blatantly ignoring me. I find myself sitting and observing more and more anymore, rather than joining in conversation because of it.

SV is my home too.. Why do I feel like this?

That's my rant.. Not loud, Not yelling, just saying how I feel and how this bothers me.

I can't expect change if I am not willing to make change as well. I do try though.

Ok.. that's all I have to say.

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